moo got cookies [12:56 P.M.]: i do that quite a lot as well...bedhead would never get my money if their gel (which i don't use, by the way) didn't smell like pina colada moo got cookies [12:56 P.M.]: "what do you do with the hair gel, then?" is the question on your lips "Geoff" [12:57 P.M.]: on my fingers "Geoff" [12:57 P.M.]: but do go on moo got cookies [12:57 P.M.]: well, the answer to that is: i unscrew the lid, and breathe in the heavenly aroma "Geoff" [12:57 P.M.]: HAHa "Geoff" [12:57 P.M.]: I do the same with redken, but i use it "Geoff" [12:57 P.M.]: and make others smell my hair "Geoff" [12:57 P.M.]: and then when i shower, the whole room smells like redken "Geoff" [12:58 P.M.]: tis glorious moo got cookies [12:58 P.M.]: ahhhh...bliss... moo got cookies [12:58 P.M.]: i shall have to order some "Geoff" [12:58 P.M.]: its for men, but anyway "Geoff" [12:58 P.M.]: never smelled the women's line... moo got cookies [12:58 P.M.]: boo "Geoff" [12:58 P.M.]: the men's smell's like raw, unadulterated testosterone moo got cookies [12:59 P.M.]: i have a few friends that own salons. they order my bedhead stuff wholesale...i'll ask about redken "Geoff" [12:59 P.M.]: k "Geoff" [12:59 P.M.]: I get mine at Beautyland "Geoff" [12:59 P.M.]: its cheaper "Geoff" [12:59 P.M.]: also, Hair Cuttery carries it "Geoff" [12:59 P.M.]: its in the WAAY back, as its the most expensive line, ever. "Geoff" [12:59 P.M.]: and obviously we must guard the products from all of those product lifters "Geoff" [1:00 P.M.]: you know, those gay men donned in black hoodies "Geoff" [1:00 P.M.]: who go from town to town stealing hair products and the like moo got cookies [1:00 P.M.]: i've heard about them moo got cookies [1:00 P.M.]: quite the bandits...stealing from the decent, hair-care-loving people, and hoarding the products so they can smell them "Geoff" [1:01 P.M.]: they're led by Carson Kressley, I hear. moo got cookies [1:01 P.M.]: no! last i heard, it was al pacino... moo got cookies [1:01 P.M.]: was there a coup? "Geoff" [1:01 P.M.]: not sure. "Geoff" [1:01 P.M.]: I heard they hit Express Men last sunday. "Geoff" [1:01 P.M.]: Mass-scale chino khaki abduction moo got cookies [1:01 P.M.]: is nothing sacred?! "Geoff" [1:01 P.M.]: like 70 pairs stolen at gunpoint moo got cookies [1:02 P.M.]: those poor chinos... "Geoff" [1:02 P.M.]: i know! moo got cookies [1:02 P.M.]: that's your new job - leading the revolt against these black-hooded gay men "Geoff" [1:02 P.M.]: I'll serve dutifully. "Geoff" [1:02 P.M.]: We'll put lesbians on guard at all hot spots. "Geoff" [1:03 P.M.]: Because as we all know, gay men despise lesbians. "Geoff" [1:03 P.M.]: They fear them, in fact/ "Geoff" [1:03 P.M.]: We can have little window signs as deterrants, saying "Lesbians on Premise" or something. moo got cookies [1:03 P.M.]: or "don't come in here, the lesbians will attack" moo got cookies [1:04 P.M.]: or "cave lesbianam" for the few of them that are latin scholars "Geoff" [1:04 P.M.]: very few gay men know latin. They love latinos, but that's a totally different thing. moo got cookies [1:05 P.M.]: i understand. latin is, after all, the language of scholars. clearly, these black-hooded-hair-care-thieving-khaki-abducting gay men are quite ignorant "Geoff" [1:06 P.M.]: well, they do know about some important issues--fashion, literature, music, hair, and the like--but no latin. moo got cookies [1:06 P.M.]: it's a pity...my latin heart is crying out at the injustice moo got cookies [1:06 P.M.]: maybe we could place a dozen latinos in one place and lure them in... moo got cookies [1:06 P.M.]: and then drop a huge basket on top of them "Geoff" [1:07 P.M.]: I'll put out an ad for Ricky Martin lookalikes. moo got cookies [1:07 P.M.]: that might scare them away, though. "Geoff" [1:07 P.M.]: no, they love latinos "Geoff" [1:07 P.M.]: and whats more latino than ricky martin? moo got cookies [1:07 P.M.]: antonio banderas! but he's spanish... moo got cookies [1:08 P.M.]: so yes, ricky martin is prime for the job. "Geoff" [1:08 P.M.]: yeah. "Geoff" [1:08 P.M.]: I'll call the Courier. "Geoff" [1:08 P.M.]: And perhaps the NY Times. "Geoff" [1:08 P.M.]: oh, and we can blast kelly clakson too "Geoff" [1:08 P.M.]: lures like crazy moo got cookies [1:08 P.M.]: fabulous. moo got cookies [1:08 P.M.]: i'll start on the huge basket. "Geoff" [1:09 P.M.]: they'll think its some kind of soireé moo got cookies [1:09 P.M.]: maybe we could have the latinos wearing chinos and holding hair-care products? "Geoff" [1:09 P.M.]: and dancing to clarkson moo got cookies [1:09 P.M.]: perfect "Geoff" [1:09 P.M.]: on a flashing disco floor "Geoff" [1:10 P.M.]: shirtless moo got cookies [1:10 P.M.]: we have already saved the world, geoffery moo got cookies [1:10 P.M.]: hair-care is a safe thing... moo got cookies [1:10 P.M.]: chinos will be protected "Geoff" [1:11 P.M.]: huzzah! "Geoff" [1:11 P.M.]: and then the innocent gay men will be able to shop freely again! moo got cookies [1:11 P.M.]: i feel bad for the innocent gay men...constantly being harassed by the clerks....being watched very closely...being dragged down with the guilty moo got cookies [1:12 P.M.]: do you think we'll get into the history books for this? "Geoff" [1:12 P.M.]: i know! You hear Clarkson blaring out of a Saab and you instantly suspect! The injustice is horrific! "Geoff" [1:12 P.M.]: Yeah, we'll probably have statues erected, too. "Geoff" [1:12 P.M.]: Big ones. moo got cookies [1:12 P.M.]: i want mine to be orange. moo got cookies [1:12 P.M.]: and sparkly. "Geoff" [1:13 P.M.]: okay "Geoff" [1:13 P.M.]: I want mine to rotate and wave. "Geoff" [1:13 P.M.]: This must be arranged. moo got cookies [1:13 P.M.]: but let's save the world first. moo got cookies [1:13 P.M.]: OH! parades! we'll have parades in our honor! moo got cookies [1:14 P.M.]: and holidays...i'll bet all the innocent gay men will be holding parties in our honor. "Geoff" [1:15 P.M.]: yeah! "Geoff" [1:15 P.M.]: And the Guard Lesbians can march in formation! moo got cookies [1:15 P.M.]: ahhhhh...we'll have streets named after us... moo got cookies [1:16 P.M.]: maybe we'll be elected to the white house...? moo got cookies [1:16 P.M.]: the glories will never end. "Geoff" [1:16 P.M.]: I hear they elect anyone nowadays. moo got cookies [1:17 P.M.]: but we've saved the world, and we don't have an accent, and we can't choke on a pretzel, so, therefore, we're bound to be elected. "Geoff" [1:17 P.M.]: True. But people seem to like to elect war-mongering, greedy, anti-humanity types to the OVal Office. "Geoff" [1:17 P.M.]: Especially illiterate one4s. "Geoff" [1:17 P.M.]: ones* moo got cookies [1:18 P.M.]: It's a sin. maybe we could say that we are going to continue to wage war against the criminal gay men? "Geoff" [1:18 P.M.]: yeah. we can say they have weapons of mass gayness moo got cookies [1:18 P.M.]: okay, that's just freaky. i had that typed out. "Geoff" [1:18 P.M.]: and they'll random kiss people...that can get the anti-gay bigots all worked up moo got cookies [1:19 P.M.]: yes! we can say they'll be making their own gay nation, and force homophobes to live there... "Geoff" [1:19 P.M.]: and then....this is brilliant....we can say gays and lesbians are less thasn human and not entitled to the same rights as others! "Geoff" [1:19 P.M.]: oh...wait... "Geoff" [1:19 P.M.]: nevermind. that one's taken. moo got cookies [1:20 P.M.]: c'mon geoff, be original. "Geoff" [1:20 P.M.]: how about....we brand them, and make them wear little patches declaring their homosexual nature? "Geoff" [1:20 P.M.]: oh, yeah, thats taken too. "Geoff" [1:20 P.M.]: darn pre-wwii germany. moo got cookies [1:20 P.M.]: maybe we can make them wear hats. moo got cookies [1:20 P.M.]: purple ones. moo got cookies [1:20 P.M.]: with little green spots. "Geoff" [1:21 P.M.]: and then we laugh and point at them? "Geoff" [1:21 P.M.]: (secretly, id envy those hats) moo got cookies [1:21 P.M.]: well, maybe we can have the hats, and not let the gays and lesbians have them? "Geoff" [1:21 P.M.]: ok "Geoff" [1:21 P.M.]: thats a plan moo got cookies [1:21 P.M.]: then, point and laugh, because they don't have the hats moo got cookies [1:22 P.M.]: geoff, i think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship "Geoff" [1:22 P.M.]: yeah! "Geoff" [1:22 P.M.]: and then, when people realize gay people DON'T have weapons of mass gayness, we can lie and say we didn't know! "Geoff" [1:22 P.M.]: and then get reelected for another 4 years! moo got cookies [1:22 P.M.]: genius! moo got cookies [1:23 P.M.]: then we can continue our hunt for osama bin gayness, who is rumored to be launching those WMG's on the homophobes of America moo got cookies [1:23 P.M.]: and everyone will love us moo got cookies [1:24 P.M.]: and not just because we have cool hats "Geoff" [1:24 P.M.]: yeah! And we can take a TON of vacation time and give only three press conferences a year and then go into hiding in the caverns of the White House to play ping-pong with Dick Cheney. moo got cookies [1:24 P.M.]: i suck at ping-pong, though... "Geoff" [1:24 P.M.]: His lesbian daughter isn't invited, though. Bad press. moo got cookies [1:25 P.M.]: but maybe we can give her an honorary hat? "Geoff" [1:25 P.M.]: Not publicly. "Geoff" [1:25 P.M.]: That would ruin our facade of hatred. "Geoff" [1:25 P.M.]: she can wear it in private in front of a mirror or something moo got cookies [1:26 P.M.]: she could be our "inside man" on the growing gay front...she would be indebted to us since we gave her a hat. "Geoff" [1:27 P.M.]: sounds good "Geoff" [1:28 P.M.]: Well, I must work on some anti-gay propaganda, for after we catch the Chinonappers. Fare thee well, running mate! I'll call the Republican party and ask if we can have in. moo got cookies [1:28 P.M.]: good...i'm still working on the basket! "Geoff" [1:28 P.M.]: ok. "Geoff" [1:28 P.M.]: make sure it's wicker. gays LOVE wicker anything "Geoff" [1:28 P.M.]: bye bye moo got cookies [1:29 P.M.]: bye, geoff
